Having sustained an injury at work late last year, and recovering and rehabilitating for the past five months, I have had plenty of time to think. Time to stress, worry, doubt, analyse, listen to gossip, imagine scenario’s, so many negative things that tend to creep in at times, when you least want, or need it. Actually, if truth be known, most of my life I have always had these thoughts, and society is telling me that I am not an island. The woman I am today is a result of a lifetime of living. This year is the 20 year anniversary of being a merchant seafarer. And yet here I sit at home recovering from a workplace injury. Two years shy of 50, with a huge mortgage, teenage kids and a kind, caring, loving partner who is changing the way that I think. Hence the blog, and hence the reflection. Its time to change ones mindset and to become someone who I want to be. Are you with me?
Its funny. I had to visit the insurance companies doctor the other day for a review and the doctor sat there interrogating me for 49 minutes. Asking me questions and then getting me to repeat and clarify my responses over and over again. Each time I answered he repeated a part of my answer seeking to re-affirm what I said. This was so frustrating and I questioned him over his tone, and his direction. He stated that he needed to be clear so as I could not turn around and say he was wrong in what he reported. I mean seriously Doctor. I felt violated. The doctor then said its time to examine. It took him only 4 minutes and 49 seconds. After a series of physical tasks he shook his head and asked me if that’s all I could do? I mean seriously doctor, what are you on? He shook his head and stated that it is only early days for me yet, with more recovery ahead. A medical degree was not needed for that appointment. It was an interrogation of sorts, with reams of information taken. I seriously can’t wait to see that report he is writing for the insurer, as I am sure they are looking at cutting something out, or laying blame on me.
Recovering strength is the number one priority now. Strength in the physical sense, as well as mental, emotional, and many other ways that I have yet to realise that I need strength for. I guess once strength builds up it will have an effect on everything else. Rebirth is what we need to occur. And whilst I am doing that I will write. I will rehabilitate and write. I will write about rehabilitation, about feelings, about the view out of my back door, about the phone calls I receive. I will probably write about shit you don’t want to hear about, about things you don’t agree with, or have an entirely different viewpoint on. Writing will help me heal and also hopefully may help you heal, may help you laugh, may help you in some small way.
I have always said its better out, than in; help me, help you. Communication is the key. I am a communicator. Let me talk to you, and you talk to me.
Let’s Talk About It….